


震える花びら (Furueru Hanabira)

by taikodragon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Happy Birthday Shiro (Voltron), M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Post-season 7, SHEITH - Freeform, Shiro Birthday Exchange 2019, alludes to s8, brief appearance of Sam Holt, not a birthday fic, shirobirthday2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 10:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17959214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taikodragon/pseuds/taikodragon
Summary: Written for Shiro Birthday Exchange 2019 forAngel (tobi_yooo). You wanted a pining Shiro. Well, I hope you enjoy this.Shiro never got over the hope of a love that would last beyond the edge of time, reality, and the borders of the known galaxy. He knew it was too much to hope for that Keith would ever feel the same. Yes, he had said “I love you”, but he had also said “You're my brother.”





	震える花びら (Furueru Hanabira)

**Author's Note:**

> The title 震える花びら (Furueru Hanabira, or 'trembling petals') is via Google translate so forgive me if it doesn't accurately translate. XD
> 
> This is unbetaed so all the fault is on me for any inaccuracy or tense shifts. lol

He didn’t know when the ache began. When it unfurled in his chest like a constrained bloom, red petals pushing against the edges of his sternum, pressing outwards, reaching for the source of this ache. He didn’t know really. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. It would require a more thorough soul-searching than he had time for now, what with the buildup towards the launch.

Shiro never got over the hope of a love that would last beyond the edge of time, reality, and the borders of the known galaxy. He knew it was too much to hope for that Keith would ever feel the same. Yes, he had said “I love you”, but he had also said “You're my brother.” And the memory wherein these words lie stung, like a thorn pressed against his lungs.

They were heading back out into space, both Voltron and the Atlas. To chase after the remnants of the Galran empire and help where they could. And Keith was becoming. . . more. Keith was Kerberos, Voltron, the universe, the stars, the planets. The Atlas. He was everything that Shiro had ever wanted and it had creeped up upon him, this feeling, like vines wrapping around his legs, climbing higher and higher until he could either allow it to grow and unfurl, or cut it off forever.

He thought maybe, just maybe, if he cut it off, it would wilt, die off, return to the earth of his heart and he could begin again. Somewhere else, with someone else. So he tried. He tried and everyone else only made the bloom inside him grow stronger, the leaves wider, and by the time he realized it, it was too late to turn back. Or so he thought.

Keeping Keith at arms length, being professional and letting duty and respect guide him, pressed the thorns even deeper so that sometimes he sat in his office just off the command deck or in his quarters and breathed sharpened breaths that threatened to rip up the armor he’d built around him. He could do this. He would do this. Keith might eventually understand. One day.

And oh, the looks Keith or the other paladins gave him at times. Pulling away from Keith, or trying, also bled into the other relationships of that garden. Meaning that the easy camaraderie of years prior waned, started to fade like the color of a rose left in the sun too long. The others took their cue from him and from their leader. Shiro couldn’t help but feel like he’d cut the bloom off. And then stomped down hard with his heel, scattering pale petals across the universe, grinding them down into the dirt, shredding what had once been lovely.

It would have continued this way, mission after mission, planet after base and so on and so forth. The bloom dying by centimeters in his chest, if not for a persistent paladin who apparently had had enough of the direction things had been going.

He walked into his office one late afternoon, shipboard time, and Keith was there, broader in his red and white uniform, more handsome than he could stand. Staring out the small porthole the space afforded, arms crossed, leaning against the wall with one foot crossed over the other. The shivering of leaves and the fluttering of petals inside him became the soundtrack to a memory that placed a Keith in his red and white jacket against the wall of the Castle ship over the figure standing there. Unbidden, his lips curved in fondness.

“Keith.” He spoke the name, the affection in that one syllable unable to be hidden. Even from himself.

“Hey.” Keith said, soft smirk lifting the corner of his mouth as he turned to look at Shiro, face half in shadow from where he stood.

“Hey.” Shiro replied, the edges of the bloom in his heart tickling the nerves in his chest. That smirk. That face. He watched as it changed, dropped from the smirk to a frown that cracked his resolve down the middle.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” There was a thread of hurt in Keith’s voice, winding through the tone of quiet inquiry.

He closed his eyes to it; answered evenly, “I am.”

Keith didn't speak for a moment, and when Shiro looked up at him, he caught the knife blade in the gut. The planes of the younger man’s face were clearly in pain. Pain that he had caused. On some level he knew what would happen when he chose this course, but seeing it. . . Seeing it was wholly different than he had expected? Hoped would happen? God, what was he doing?

“Why?” Keith croaked out. He was no longer leaning against the wall, he had taken a few steps closer, body rigid, hands balled up in fists at his sides.

“Keith. . .” Shiro tried to keep his voice calm in the face of the storm rising in front of him.

“No! You’ve effectively cut off not only me, but the rest of the Paladins. Just. . .” Voice cracking, Keith’s arm came up to make a fierce downward slash. “Tell me why?!”

His eyes met Keith’s, gray to violet. To tell him, tell him the truth, would be to bare all. To lay the bare the blossom that had taken down roots in his chest, in his heart. But he couldn’t lie either. Not to Keith. He owed him that and so much more. He might already be losing him as a friend so he made his choice, the words like wilted petals falling from his lips. “I am. . . I think I am. . .in. In love with you.”

The hard lines of Keith’s body melted into confusion, “What?”

He folded his arms and turned to lean against his desk, facing Keith. “I don’t. . . think it’s a good idea to allow myself to be near you. You don’t deserve an ‘old timer’ like me. Plus, you’ve stated several times before that. . . well, we are brothers. That’s how you see it.”

Keith’s mouth had dropped open in shock, or disgust, Shiro couldn’t really read it at the moment because of the fear in his heart, the too full feeling in his chest threatening to burst. The black paladin moved then to stand in front of him, one hand reaching out to curl around one forearm. Shiro stared at it, the trembling in his chest almost too much as he watched it grip and squeeze the muscle there.

“I’m in love with you as well, you idiot.” Keith’s voice came out steady. Shiro’s head jerked up to look at him, breathing sharply inward at how close Keith had come. “And, to some extent, you are a brother to me. A brother in arms, most certainly. But not that type of brother.”

He couldn’t, could he? He couldn’t have this. That wasn’t. That. . .

“Brothers was how I had wanted to see you at first. I wanted that, needed it even. But you became so much more, after Kerberos, after Zarkon, after the clone.” The hand on his forearm was resting on his chest now, warmth flowing out from the touch, even through the layers of uniform and undershirt. “When I spent that time in the abyss with Mom, I saw my past and saw so many possible futures.”

There were two hands now on each side of his neck and he felt his breath catch as their owner’s thumbs caressed the lines of his jaw. “I knew what I wanted when I came back but everything happened so quickly then. It’s not like you and I had a moment to really talk about it.”

He made a noise of agreement in his throat and looked away for a moment before Keith’s hand cupped his cheek and brought him back, eyes holding his gaze as he moved in even closer, bringing their foreheads together. “I think that you are under some sort of misconception that you are not worthy of me.”

Shiro breathed deep, the smell of Keith filling him with contentedness and his words tugging at thorns. “I. . .”

“I still would have died for you.”

The bloom exploded in his chest in a cascade of emotion and he buried his face in Keith’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him as close as he could. The flood was overwhelming and he couldn’t contain it when Keith’s own arms came around him and gripped tightly at him, fingers digging in as Shiro sobbed.

He didn’t know how long they were holding on to each other when the door to his office swooped open and Sam came in talking a little excitedly about stats on how well the Atlas was running and how things were looking so far on the reports when he stopped speaking abruptly. “Oh. Uh, my apologies, Captain.”

The door swooped closed again and Keith chuckled. “Well, he didn’t look very surprised.”

“At least it was Sam and not anyone else.” Shiro muttered from Keith’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing. He’ll tell Colleen, she’ll probably tell Matt or Pidge or someone else,” came Keith’s sardonic response. “Gossip spreads throughout this ship like the plague.”

“I can still hope.” He pulled back to look up at Keith, who was assessing his appearance and pulling out of Shiro’s grip reluctantly, moving away to the bar in his office, rummaging around before running some water and coming back with a wet cloth, handing it over to him. The cool felt nice against his face after the hot, wet tears he had let loose. Glancing up at Keith when he was done, he asked, “Do I look presentable, at least?”

The grin was teasing as Keith responded, “Well, presentable, I suppose.”

Shiro snorted, “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” They grinned at each other then. To Shiro, it felt like the months he had avoided this were nothing more than a bad dream, floating away like dead leaves making way for new growth.

The moment lasted for a minute or so until Keith spoke again, “So, about this whole ‘old timer’ thing and being near me. We good? You’re not going to avoid me anymore, right? Or the others by proxy?”

Shiro felt lighter than he had in a while, feeling like a garden just after the rain, “No more avoidance. I promise.”

Keith confidently nodded once, “Come on, then. I’m hungry and I don’t think you’ve eaten yet today, if I know you at all.”

“I had, um, breakfast. I think.” Shiro half-heartedly protested, standing up to his full height.

“Fine. You’re still coming with me. Plus, I need to switch uniform tops. I’m a little unpresentable myself.” Shiro looked at where Keith had indicated, proof apparent that he had indeed cried on Keith’s shoulder.

“Oh.” He breathed, guilt sharp in his lungs.

“Don’t.” Keith’s sharp voice pierced through the fog of self-doubt that was forming around him, before gentling as he continued, “It’s fine. Come with me.”

Shiro nodded and followed him out through to doorway, passing through the command deck, and into the passageway. They walked towards the living quarters, shoulders bumping, quiet as they passed and responded to salutes. When they reached Keith’s door and entered, Shiro stood awkwardly waiting at the threshold while Keith moved farther into the space. He had stripped off his uniform jacket before reaching in and pulling out another one from the closet across from his bed. He was still buttoning everything back up in the dark of the room as he moved back towards Shiro. “So, what do people do for dating around here now? I have no clue.”

Shiro felt bemusement creep over his face as he looked at Keith, moving farther in, letting the door behind him slide shut, “You know, I’m not sure anymore. I think just being with each other will be enough. Since I, well, avoided you for so long.”

Keith was just looking at him then and Shiro’s heart stopped in realization. They hadn’t actually talked about anything, just had made the declarations. Oh god, did he assume and this wasn’t what Keith meant? Shit. “I mean, uh, yeah. I’m not sure.”

It was dim in the room but Shiro could still see one of Keith’s black eyebrows raised in response, “We didn’t actually talk about this part, did we?”

“Uh, no.” Shiro reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck before letting it drop to his side. “We didn’t.”

Keith took a step closer to him and Shiro was unaware of moving away until his back hit the door. Keith continued forward until he was flush against Shiro, every breath Shiro took pushed his chest against Keith and pulled him in when he breathed out. He felt the rumble of Keith’s voice, “So, hey, I am in love with you.”

Shiro swallowed hard, looking down at Keith’s very close face, “I, uh, am in love with you as well.”

The grin that spread Keith’s face had a mischievous glint about it and Shiro was not familiar with this version of the man. Not yet, anyway. He could feel the tender shivering anticipation of the bloom in his heart.

“Good. I want to be with you. Dates, hanging out, that sort of thing. Okay?” His voice was a low level vibration between them and Shiro. . . was a little affected by that. Just a little. Heat suffused in his belly and slowly climbed its way up the latticework of his veins.

“Okay.” He nodded, breathless, “I want to be with you, too.”

Despite the inches he had added while in the abyss, Keith still had to reach up to kiss him, their uniforms bunching as he stood on tiptoe, not moving away but sliding up Shiro’s torso, one hand curving around the back of Shiro’s neck, pulling him down as Shiro’s hands gripped at the line of his waist. It was a sweet first kiss. Gentle, warm, just a touch of lips. He pulled back slightly, meeting Shiro’s eyes, smiling before pressing in again, this time testing the waters with his tongue against Shiro’s lips before he parted them and let Keith in.

This time it was a tad sloppy, still gentle, and warmth shot through Shiro as they both angled their heads for a better fit, tongues learning the other’s texture and shape. Keith pulled away again, swallowing hard and licking his lips as he took a measured step backwards. He straightened his uniform top before reaching out and doing the same for Shiro, patting the chest lovingly before smiling up at him. 

“Come on, I’m still hungry.”

Shiro chuckled as he palmed the door open to allow Keith out to the passageway first, “Lead on, Paladin.”

Keith’s answering grin as he passed settled the bloom in Shiro’s chest, leaves still reaching for the sun, but no longer desperately wondering if the light would be there.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](http://taikodragon.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TaikoDragonjkf), [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/taikodragon) and [Dreamwidth](https://taikodragon.dreamwidth.org/).


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